GRAD SPEECH (for real, but not really)

So as you all know because I’ve mentioned it a few times HOMEGIRL IS GRADUATING THIS WEEK!!!!!!!

So in honor of graduating this week (really praying I don’t fall on my face while accepting my diploma, because I would be the one person to do that) I thought I would write a funny post about what I learned in high school. Also, I’m feeling a little nostalgic AND because I’m not a valedictorian so I’m not allowed to speak at graduation BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say. Let’s be real, I always have something to say and I think I’m funny-ish 😉

So get ready for the vast knowledge on life from a seventeen year old. Go ahead and laugh. I am.

-DON’T run away from the security guards. You might get yelled at, note the word might. I didn’t. I was wearing athletic shorts (they had a problem with the length) because it was hot and I had a track meet that day AND in my defense I was going to be late for class.

-DO be nice to your English teachers. They really are the best kind.

-DON’T become an athletic trainer to flirt with the football players…become an athletic trainer to hear the big football players squeal like little girls when you rub out their calves. Also, when you spray nitro tan on their cuts and if they scream when you’re doing this they are faking it and so you should slap them in the face.

-DO go to Sadies with friends that make dancing awkwardly completely normal.

-DON’T skip history class to go to Taco Bell. You miss a lot of important things…

-DO befriend Madam. She is the greatest. She’s hilarious, always has food, will let you skip class to cook (shhhhhh), has an electric blanket, and will let you sleep in her mini kitchen.

-DON’T put the lense cap on the projector while your teacher is out of the classroom. It may be wildly hilarious but facing the wrath of a certain geography teacher isn’t fun…so worth it though.

-DO scream and dance in the ladies locker room when you find out you made it to districts for the 200m dash. The best event in the world, I may be a little biased though.

-DON’T wear a dress before looking at the forecast because the ONE day you wear a dress and curl your hair is when it will rain while you are waiting in the food truck line and you will end up crying in the bathroom during 6th period because you just wanted to look cute. True story guys. I was just a little baby freshman so don’t judge me for crying. It was like a tear…whatevs.

-DO let your friends call you weird/endearing names. Some of those annoying names turn out to be great memories.

-DON’T dislocate your knee as you vault yourself 8+ feet into the air. It kinda hurts. A lot. And you’ll never be able to pole vault again.

-DO talk to people on the sidelines, even if they just ask you for a towel, you never know who will turn out to be a good friend.

-DON’T slam your best friends hand in their locker. It’s not very nice and is considered VERY dramatic.

I’ve always wanted a mic drop moment and think this is it, even though this is highly ridiculous. Peace out high school thanks for the good and not so good times.

once a brave, always a brave

xx Lane